to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.”
The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.”
Man: “And that frees me from my sin?”
Priest: “No, but it frees your
face from that dirty grin.”
Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your
Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?”
Doctor: “Every two hours.”
Sleep with an open window tonight!
1400 mosquitos like that. 420
mosquitos commented on it. 210 mosquitos shared this.
invited for the event. 2800 mosquitos will be attending the event.
“My wife suffers from a drinking problem.”
“Oh is she an
“No, I am, but she’s the one who suffers.”
I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $855 to
cover the loss.
I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always
goes down with his ship.
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want
to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is
acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the
mug! He only leaves the handle!”
Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird.
The handle is the best part.“
Doctor: “Do you do sports?”
Patient: “Does sex count?”
Patient: “Then no.”
Oh darling, since you’ve started dieting, you’ve become such a passionate
What do you mean, passionate? I’m looking for food remains!
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