Contact Privacy

Tasteless Jokes

Best first: Patient: "How long do I have to live?"
Doctor: "Hm, how could I break it to you? Well, I wouldn't buy a ticket to the cinema anymore."

Our funniest categories:

Super Tasteless Jokes

At a job centre:

Woman: I'm looking for a new and exciting position!
Man: Excellent, tonight at 6 pm, my place?
A woman says to a guy, "Roger, did you know you talk in your sleep?"
The man replies, "Oh… sorry. Is it very loud?"
The woman sighs, "I'm fine but frankly, the other guys in the office complain that it’s disturbing their sales calls."

Police: "Your husband had a terrible accident. But he will make it."
Woman: "Wait, what?! I already put a deposit at the funeral parlour!"

A man goes to a tobacco shop and shakes the owner by the hand, "Thank you!"


The owner smiles, "Ah, you are enjoying our fine cigarettes?"


The man answers, "No, but I am enjoying a very nice inheritance!"

At a psychologist:

Man: “I'm in love with my horse.”
Psychologist: “Is it a male horse?”
Man: “What the… No! Of course not! That would be disgusting!”
Alfred is now resting in peace.
Oh no, did he die?
No, he became a participant in a very promising sleep study.
Doctor: “You got poisoned.”
Patient: “Oh no, will I live?!”
Doctor: “Let’s wait 10 minutes, then we’ll know.”

Father on his death bed: “Son, I would like to see my wife for the last time. Please bring her to my bed.”
The son goes and comes back in 5 minutes, "Sorry dad, mom says she’s busy preparing for the funeral service."
Why did the mathematician want to take his life?
He couldn't figure out his function.

Doctor to the nurse: “Don't worry about the patient in room 6. He’s just pretending to be sick.”
The next day, the nurse asks the doctor: “Doctor, what should I do about that patient in room 6 now? He’s pretending to be dead by not breathing.”

Patient to surgeon: “I'm worried that the operation will be too expensive.”

Surgeon: “Well, looking at your chances of recovery, I’m guessing that’s anyway rather a problem for the bereaved.”
Tasteless Jokes - Part 1 | Part 2

Contact | Privacy