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Tasteless Jokes

Best first: Patient: "How long do I have to live?"
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Doctor: "Hm, how could I break it to you? Well, I wouldn't buy a ticket to the cinema anymore."

Our funniest categories:
 
Tasteless

Super Tasteless Jokes


At a job centre:

Woman: I'm looking for a new and exciting position!
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Man: Excellent, tonight at 6 pm, my place?
A woman says to a guy, "Roger, did you know you talk in your sleep?"
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The man replies, "Oh… sorry. Is it very loud?"
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The woman sighs, "I'm fine but frankly, the other guys in the office complain that it’s disturbing their sales calls."



Police: "Your husband had a terrible accident. But he will make it."
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Woman: "Wait, what?! I already put a deposit at the funeral parlour!"

A man goes to a tobacco shop and shakes the owner by the hand, "Thank you!"

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The owner smiles, "Ah, you are enjoying our fine cigarettes?"

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The man answers, "No, but I am enjoying a very nice inheritance!"


At a psychologist:

Man: “I'm in love with my horse.”
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Psychologist: “Is it a male horse?”
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Man: “What the… No! Of course not! That would be disgusting!”
Alfred is now resting in peace.
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Oh no, did he die?
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No, he became a participant in a very promising sleep study.
Doctor: “You got poisoned.”
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Patient: “Oh no, will I live?!”
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Doctor: “Let’s wait 10 minutes, then we’ll know.”

Father on his death bed: “Son, I would like to see my wife for the last time. Please bring her to my bed.”
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The son goes and comes back in 5 minutes, "Sorry dad, mom says she’s busy preparing for the funeral service."
Why did the mathematician want to take his life?
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He couldn't figure out his function.

Doctor to the nurse: “Don't worry about the patient in room 6. He’s just pretending to be sick.”
The next day, the nurse asks the doctor: “Doctor, what should I do about that patient in room 6 now? He’s pretending to be dead by not breathing.”

Patient to surgeon: “I'm worried that the operation will be too expensive.”

Surgeon: “Well, looking at your chances of recovery, I’m guessing that’s anyway rather a problem for the bereaved.”
Tasteless Jokes - Part 1 | Part 2







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