Two ants want to fight an elephant.
The elephant looks at them: “Two on one? That’s not fair!”
Antonia buys 5 chocolate bars. Her friend Julie asks
her for 2 of them. How many chocolate bars does Antonia end up with?
Answer: Five. Antonia is quite a greedy girl.
What did the little corn say to momcorn?
will popcorn come?
Two colleagues are coming back from lunch, taking a
short cut through a back alley, when suddenly they’re stopped by a
masked robber with a gun who demands all their money or their life.
They both get out their wallets without protests, when one of
them gasps, “Jimbo, I completely forgot that I still owe you 100
dollars! There you go!”
Three guys are discussing
which profession was the first in history.
The Mason claims,
“Masons were the first. Without us, there’d be no houses.”
The baker argues, “No,
no, people ate bread before they had houses. We were the first.”
The electrician smiles, “Wait a sec. Wasn’t the first thing God
said ‘Let there be light?’”
An ant saw an elephant running towards him. He was
afraid that the elephant would step on him. What did the ant do?
He quickly hid behind a tree, waited and then tripped the elephant up.
A duck walks into a bar.
It asks the
barkeeper: “Do you have bread?”
“Do you have bread?”
Bartender: “LISTEN! I HAVE NO BREAD AND IF YOU ASK ME
ONE MORE TIME, I’M GONNA NAIL YOU TO THAT WALL!!!”
you have nails?”
Duck: “Do you have
Lisa ask Peter, "What are you eating? Are those apple
Peter replies, "Yes! And you know what? These are very special ones,
they give you knowledge and wisdom."
Lisa asks, "Oh wow, can I have some please?"
Peter answers, "Sure, but it’s 2.50, remember, they’re special."
Lisa agrees, eats the pips and says, "Hey, I can’t say that I feel any
special knowledge or wisdom!"
Peter smiles, "Really? But now you know that pips are really just pips
and next time, you will be wise enough not to fall for a stupid trick
Mommy, do you know if God has to go to the toilet
No child. Of course not. What makes you think this way?
Well grandpa knocked on the bathroom door this morning and said: “Oh
God! Please hurry up!”
Little Johnny: Mom, I have good news and bad news.
Which do you want to hear first?
Johnny’s Mom: OK, let’s hear the good news first.
Little Johnny: I got a B in Math today.
Johnny’s Mom: That’s good! And now the bad one.
Little Johnny: That was a lie.
What does a snail say when he finds himself on a
Doctor: “Can you describe the snake that bit you?”
Patient: “Yes. It looked like an angry rope.
Why did the guy store his money in the freezer?
He loved cold, hard cash!
Little Johnny comes home from school
and says, “We did a test today mom, and I only answered one question
Mommy says, “Oh, nice, so you got a good mark,
Little Johnny replies, “Not really. I didn’t answer
the other questions at all.”
of our easy to
understand kids jokes!
Kids Jokes - Part 1
See also: Cute Jokes
| Clean Jokes