The teacher is asking the children what is
their favorite instrument.
-
Little Johnny replies: The school bell.
Two neighbors are chatting and one says, “You know,
Jim, you have such a teeny, tiny dog. Why the heck do you have a sign
saying ‘Beware of the dog’?”
Jim says, “Basically I don’t want anybody to stumble over him.”
Two boys are walking outside and one of
them finds a hundred dollar bill.
His friend suggests that
they should take it to the lost-and-found office.
The boy replies: “No
point. This is my mom’s money.”
His friend is startled,
“But how can you know that?”
“Because my father keeps
saying that my mother is just throwing money out the window.”
Little Johnny, why on Earth did you cover your pillow
with honey?!
-
I wanted to have sweet dreams.
Little Kenny is about to have a big test and his
father says: “You better study real good boy, ‘cause if you don’t pass
that test, you can forget that you’re my son!”
The next day Kenny comes home and his dad asks him how he did in the
test.
Kenny looks at him and says, “And who are you, dude?”
Three guys are stranded in a desert. By a stroke of
luck, they find a magic genie lamp.
The genie grants each of
them one wish.
The first guy wishes to be back home. Wish
granted.
The second guy wishes the same. Wish granted.
The third guy says, "It feels very lonely here now, I wish my
friends were with me…” Wish granted.
Dad on the last day of school: So, where’s your school
report, my boy?
Tom: Sorry, I’ll bring it a day later.
Dad: Why?
Tom: I borrowed it to Kevin because he wanted to scare his parents.
A teacher shows Little Johnny a butterfly and asks,
“Well, Johnny, what do we call this butterfly?”
Little Johnny says, “That’s a peacock butterfly.”
“Come on, Johnny, peacock butterflies aren’t green!”
“Well maybe this one isn’t ripe yet?”
What do teachers and clouds have in common?
Everything brightens up when they go away.
If you can't decide between running and eating
chocolate, run to the store for some chocolate.
A
priest falls into water and soon starts to drown. But his faith in
God is strong and he knows God will save him.
A small boat
rows to him and offers help. “No! God will help me, thank you!”
gasps the priest and continues drowning.
A second, bigger
boat comes by soon and tries to get the man out of the water. “No!”
fights the priest. “God alone will save me!” The boat leaves and the
priest finally drowns.
In heaven, he feels quite betrayed and
goes to ask God about it.
“Well, you moron,” thunders the
Lord, “and who do you think sent all those ships?!”
Next is
PART 5 of
our English kids jokes!
Kids Jokes - Part 1 |
Part 2 |
Part 3 |
Part 4 |
Part 5 |
Part 6 |
Part 7
See also:
Cute Jokes|
Clean Jokes
