Geek Jokes and Sayings.
Geeks are cool, nobody could disprove it since the Big Bang
Theory. So be ye an IT geek, a linguist geek, a general know-it-all or
simply enjoy a bit of a mental stretch in your jokes, welcome! We've got you
Romantic relationships can actually be represented in algebra. You for
example, have definitely at some point looked at your X and asked yourself
I went on a date with a chess player to an Italian restaurant with
checkered table cloths. It took him maybe half an hour to pass the salt.
The leading source of computer problems is computer solutions.
Q: What happens when eight hobbits get together?
A: They turn
into a hobbyte.
It is a fact of nature that light arrives faster than sound. Which is why
some people can appear quite bright, until they speak.
A jellyfish has existed as a species for 500 million years, surviving just
fine without a brain. That gives hope to quite a few people.
The warmer a computer becomes, the more it freezes.
Why did Thor lose his power of lightning as a teenager?
Because he got grounded.
Panic, Chaos, Pandemonium – my work here is finished.
A superconductor comes into a bar.
“Hey!” says the barkeep, “we don’t
The superconductor didn’t put up any
Last words of a Jedi apprentice, “Of course I know which side the light
saber comes out!”
Stephen Hawking died.
Have you tried turning him off and on again?
Jokes about communism are only good if everybody gets them.
My iPod is in Titanic mode right now. It is syncing.
Why are astronauts always so calm and efficient?
Zero pressure in
A programmer gets shopping instructions from his wife: Go buy a cauliflower.
If they have oranges, get two dozens. He comes home with 24 cauliflowers.
A web designer is filling out a form:
Eye color: #008000
Two admins are talking, “This friend of mine shot down the main server
yesterday within minutes.”
“So what is he, like, a hacker?”
“No, an imbecile.”
Time is money. Therefore, ATMs are time machines.
Do you think that when Han Solo married Princess Leia, she demanded that he
change his name to Han Married?
How Long is a Chinese name.
Beethoven: So what up, guys? Are you ready for some serious symphonies?
Excited crowd: YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!
Beethoven: I can’t hear
I found the perfect new super hero name for me: Irony Man
Mother: “Oh my Lord, your room is such a mess! Why are there so many
things on the floor?”
Son: “Come on mom, duh. Gravity, of
A young, dynamic software company is looking for a hacker. Please leave your
structured CV in our “HUB_01” computer in the C:/Documents/Applicants
God is dead.
(Friedrich Nietzsche, 1882)
Nietzsche is dead. (God, 1900)
Christmas at the Schrödingers' was a rather awkward affair. Even days after
Christmas, boxes were lying under the Christmas tree that nobody dared open.
I’ve been a naughty girl… I think I deserve punishment…” she said
suggestively, biting her lip.
“As you say,” said he and installed
Windows Vista on her laptop.
What is the difference between an IT guy and a regular guy?
guy thinks a kilobyte has 1000 bites. An IT guy thinks a kilometer has 1024
What was written on the tombstone of a computer nerd?
How do you like your eggs in the morning?
A floppy disc is kind of like Jesus, really.
It died and became the icon of
They say that a PC user keeps a screwdriver and pliers next to his
keyboard, while a Mac user keeps a glass of wine.
makes sense because when your Mac malfunctions, all you can do is just
You might want to take this talk
somewhere a bit more private.
A distrainor rings the doorbell.
A voice comes from behind the
door, “We’re not home.”
Distrainor: “Correct, not anymore you
“I just don’t understand how somebody could guess my PIN number!”
“What was your PIN?”
The date the emperor Aizong of the Jin
dynasty committed suicide, bringing about the end of the Jin Dynasty.”
“Wow, that sounds obscure enough, when was that?”
Proper spelling and grammar is very important and for instance a coma can
totally change the meaning of a statement.
Here’s an example:
"Travis is in a rush."
"Travis is in a coma."
Super Funny Geek Jokes
An accused cannibal is trying to defend himself at court: “Your Honor, if it
really is as they say, You are what you eat, then I must insist I am a
perfectly innocent victim here!”
Two blind people are walking, one of them with a twenty-meter white cane
and nudges the other, “So, I got myself this really sweet binoculars!”
Tomato is a fruit, right? Does that make ketchup a smoothie?
Best Geek Jokes
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| Part 7