A programmer comes in a pharmacy and says,
“I feel kind of weak after the long winter, I think I need something to
boost my organism. What do you recommend?”
The pharmacists suggests beta
carotene.
The programmer shakes his head, “Nah. I think I’ll wait
till the full version comes out.”
What is socialism? A system which bravely and innovatively conquers barriers
that wouldn’t be present in any other system.
Who goes meow?
If you said a cat, then you’re wrong. A human says
meow when he’s trying to copy the sound a cat does.“
The seven wonders of communist/socialist countries:
1. Everybody has
a job.
2. Even though everybody has a job – nobody’s working.
3. Even though nobody’s working – the quotas are being met at 110%.
4. Even though the quotas are being met at 110% – you can’t find anything
worth a crap in the shops.
5. Even though you can’t find anything
worth a crap in the shops – everybody has everything.
6. Even though
everybody has everything – people are stealing everywhere.
7. Even
though people are stealing everywhere – nothing is ever being missed.
A Soviet space ship crash lands upon entering Earth’s atmosphere.
Only the
captain and the ship’s carpenter survived.
Why did the triangle refuse to be friends with the circle?
-
It found
the circle pointless.
Chuck Norris can make coal out of a diamond.
A great advantage of socialist state governments is that they are totally
independent.
Mostly on the voters and common sense but hey, you
gotta recognize the positive.
Three guys travel on business and go in a hotel to rent a triple room. The
room costs 30 dollars. The guys are OK with it, each pays 10 dollars, they
take their keys and go up. But just as they leave, the manager realizes he
made a mistake and that their new price is 25 dollars per triple room. So he
sends up the bellboy with the 5 dollars difference. But the bellboy doesn’t
know how to split 5 dollars between 3 people, so he just gives each of the
three guys a dollar and pockets the remaining 2 dollars.
That means
that each guy paid 9 dollars. 9 times three is 27 dollars, plus 2 that the
bellboy pocketed is 29 dollars. So where the heck is the remaining
dollar??!!
Chuck Norris was the first choice for the series 24 Hours, but was fired
after he took just 10 minutes and 27 seconds to kill all the terrorists and
save the world.
Keep it up, with any luck, you'll soon have a behavioral disorder named
after you.
Real-life paradox: It’s wrong for a sportsman to smoke and drink. But it’s
good for a smoker and drinker to do sports…???
Even egotists are essentially philanthropists.
They just have a
significantly narrower specialization.
For sale: Ultra-modern Uzbek propane-powered calculator.
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