And why do you think you’d be academically qualified for this
job, Mr Richardson?”
“I possess a degree of intelligence.”
Mathematics is the highest form of discrimination.
No number is equal to
When a mailman undergoes a gender-change operation, is it acceptable to call
her a post-man?!
What do you mean, nothing rhymes with orange?
It most certainly
You can be as well-mannered and kind as you want, but German children will
always be kinder.
Mrs. Fire was Robin Williams’ best movie, without a Doubt!
I was taught by a nun with a really nasty habit.
She used to wipe her nose
I bought a new thesaurus, but it was a waste of money. It is bad.
words, it’s bad.
Petunia went to the bathroom. Five minutes later she came out as Pitaenu.
Why? She had a significant vowel movement.
The warmer a computer becomes, the more it freezes.
Schrödinger went to see his cardiologist. The doctor said he has good news,
and bad news.
Two demons of hell who work in different departments meet up for a beer and
“Yeah, it’s really sad in my section right now, everyone’s
“Why? What happened?”
“Well, we got a hardcore gamer
the other day who died playing. He wiped out half the crew with a chainsaw
before we managed to persuade him this isn’t a new level of Doom!”
Fun fact – did you know that when you take all the nerves from a human body
and align them so they’re forming a straight line, you’ll end up in jail for
a really, really long time?
“Jake, I’m searching for some GDPR specialist, do you know a good one?”
“Yeah, I do, he handled our company website brilliantly, he’s
“Fantastic! Can you give me his contact details, then?”
“… Well, no…”
I image-googled Rorschach test to see what all the fuss was about. But now
I’m shocked. How can it all be pictures of my girlfriend cheating on me with
Schrödinger cat walks in a bar … and doesn’t.
Why are snails so slow?
Because if they weren’t, their eyes would be
streaming behind them.
Some less known Chuck Norris factoids:
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris can make coal out of a diamond.
Chuck Norris found the
last digit of Pi.
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
I need a patch for a really weird bug I’m experiencing – the quest “Find a
girlfriend” got set for me on the hardest possible level of difficulty.
Q: What is the difference between a woman and Batman?
knows every night what he’s going to wear.
Best Geek Jokes
| Part 6
| Part 7