Any mushroom can be eaten. The trick is to find those mushrooms that can be
eaten more than once.
Now that he’s dead, everyone pretends they were soooo into Stephen
Hawking.
I bet you they couldn’t even name five of his songs if
you asked them.
In a Soviet prison library:
I’m sorry, we don’t have the book you
wanted. But we do have its author!
Remember, before internet, how everybody thought the cause of dumbness
was limited access to information?“
A public swimming pool.
Or, as I like to call it, homeopathic
urinotherapy facility.
What’s a cure for anorexia?
Pshah, it’s a piece of cake.
What’s the only job you can lose when you put in too many
shifts?
Assembly line at a keyboard factory.
Chuck Norris rewrote the periodic table.
He added the element of surprise.
Do you have a cat? And are you not a fan of house chores?
-
Here’s a little tip: Make your cat full of static electricity by rubbing her
with a balloon and then use a laser pointer to have her go on all your dusty
shelves and surfaces.
-
There you go, dusting is a chore of yesterday.
My IT cousin decided to become a doctor. I hope she never tries the
switch-off – switch-back-on approach in the ICU.
A German driver was pulled over on a Polish highway by the local police.
Polish policeman: "What’s your name, sir?"
German: "Helmut
Rauchbraucher."
Policeman: "OK. Age?"
Helmut: "53."
Policeman: "Occupation?"
Helmut: "Oh no, I’m only visiting."
Worst way to comfort a grammar Nazi?
-
They’re, their.
North Korea recently changed their volume measurement system. The liter is
now only to be called the dear liter.
How many Schrödingers does it take to change a light bulb?
-
You won’t
know until you try.
I got Pavlov in my exam but I couldn’t remember who that that dude was. His
name really didn’t ring a bell.
My friend wrote a book on poltergeists, it’s simply flying off the shelves.
I tried to cross-breed cows and hyenas for my PhD thesis. Not such a
great idea, the result was a laughing stock for the whole university.
The adjective of quiz is quizzical, right?
So what’s the adjective of
test?
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