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Funny Sayings | Part 9 | Witty and Cool

The best first:  Of course I love sport. That's why I do it so sparingly. It should really remain something special.
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Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

If love is blind, then marriage is its spectacles.

The shortest horror story: Monday.
Stupidity knows no boundaries, but it knows a lot of people.
Hilarious Insult

How to win the heart of a woman? Kiss her, love her, go to the end of the world for her.
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How to win the heart of a man? Come naked and carry a pack of beer.

Intelligence relentlessly rides in your wake - but you are faster.
4 bottles of bleach: $20.00. A coil of rope, 4 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $45.00. 3 boxes of XXL bin liners: $10.00.
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The look on the cashier’s face: Priceless!
Funny insult
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You go back to the highway! That’s the place for freaky accidents.
Don't be a fool, stop hating Mondays.
 
Be a professional and hate the whole week!
The password to your life is “Humor”.
Good persuasion technique:

Come over to the dark side... we've got candy.
A truth of life:

Only ever trust your own butt to always stand behind you!
German saying:

Too long speeches lead to no actions.
Some harsh morning reality:

The early bird dies of sleep deprivation.
The weekend has landed:

Goodbye, social status and dignity. I'll see you Monday.
Don't share the host's music taste?:

"I believe they are actually using this music to keep the hobos from train stations."
Need to defend a messy apartment?

We maintain an alternative lifestyle.
A smooth break-up line:

There was a time when I would have given myself to you, now I'm not even willing to throw up in your direction.
When you just want to be mean:
 
If I were you, I'd wish to be me!
Sunday early bird:

Why do you call so early? It is Sunday! 3 pm in the morning!!!
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