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Funny sayings | Part 10 | Cool and Unusual

Best first: Nothing and no-one can stop me now! Oh no... a childlock!!!
     
  
They say good, honest work never did anybody any harm, but I don't want even the slightest risk.

Experts say you shouldn’t eat at night. So who put the light bulb in the refrigerator?
Funny bumper stickers:
 
Do we know each other? No? Then please keep your distance.
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Sure, overtake me if you want. We'll meet again at the next traffic light.
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Braking is for suckers.
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Am I driving too close in front of you?
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Escape vehicle. Please do not park too close.
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I'm also lost. There's no need to follow me.
When somebody is totally angry, why not say:

"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
A lot of people are only alive today because the law makes it impossible to shoot them.
Never drive faster than a guardian angel can fly.
Send out your heart to the emancipation movement, bearded women want to be loved too.
What – me?! A stalker?! Never! I just like to be well informed, that’s all.
There are days when you just want to envelope everybody with light and warmth… preferably through the use of a flamethrower.
When somebody is bitching:
 
“I’m sorry, your bitching time has expired. To buy more bitching time, please insert actual actions.”
My boyfriend is so ugly, I sometimes have to put roofies in my own drink.
When you don't know the answer or perhaps you don't want to say:

I will now answer you with a direct and unequivocal "maybe".
WARNING: Alcohol consumption may cause you to think that you are whispering when you are quite definitely not.
When somebody has a belly ache or doesn't feel well, why not cheer them up with:

Ah, you've been nibbling from the loo again, haven't you.

I’m very sorry about all those texts I sent you last night, unfortunately, my phone was drunk. 
Did you see (or possibly get) a bad hairdo?

I wonder what the hairstylist does for a living...
When a bird hits your window, how do you know God isn’t playing Angry Birds with you?

It's funny how many people get mad when a sentence doesn't end as they carrot juice.
Interesting status update:

9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I'm crazy. The tenth is humming.
When you're late:

I'm never late. The others are simply too early!
First Part
Funny Sayings

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | New Sayings






 
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