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Funny and Amazing Quotes | Part 2

Best first: Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kingston

     
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
-
Marilyn Monroe

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
-
 Chris Rock
I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!
-
Will Ferell
“I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.”

Bill Murray
“My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn’t walk to the donut shop.”

Bill Murray

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food.
-
Will Ferell
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
-
Douglas Adams
“I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like.”

Bill Murray
Off to Azerbaijan!
-
Eddie Izzard
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
-
Dave Barry
Ah, yes, divorce . . . from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
-
Robin Williams
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them as much.
-
Oscar Wilde
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Funny Quotes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10



 
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