Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
-
Marilyn Monroe
I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
-
Chris Rock
You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.“
-
Chris Rock
As a family we couldn’t decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated,
so in the end we decided to let her live.”
-
Gary Delaney
I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I
look!
-
Will Ferell
“I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have
to run a little.”
–
Bill Murray
“My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn’t walk to the donut
shop.”
–
Bill Murray
I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food.
-
Will Ferrell
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
-
Douglas Adams
“I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like.”
–
Bill Murray
Off to Azerbaijan!
-
Eddie Izzard
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I
start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel
better already.
-
Dave Barry
Ah, yes, divorce . . . from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet.
-
Robin Williams
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them as much.
-
Oscar
Wilde
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Funny Quotes
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Part 8 |
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