My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant it
differently when she wrote it in her diary.
Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup.
And what do
you expect for this price? A whole wig?!
What is the optimum weight of a fart?
0.0 grams. Otherwise we’re
not talking fart.
Daddy what is a transvestite?
Ask Mommy, he knows.
Q: Is Google a he or a she?
A: A she, no doubt, because it won‘t
let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.
Today I went to a barber’s shop for a shave. The barber asked me to put
a small wooden ball in my mouth so he could get a closer shave around my
I asked: “But what if I swallow the ball?”
“No problem sir, you just bring it back tomorrow like everybody else.”
Reporter interviews a man: “Sir, you’ve lived next to this highway for
20 years, do you feel that it has somehow influenced you?”
man: “NOOooooo, NOOoooo, NOOooo…”
An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks it’s an exit.
A pessimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and assumes it is an
The train conductor sees two stupid guys staggering
on train tracks.
A man goes to the lawyer: “What is your fee?”
Lawyer says: “1000
US dollars for 3 questions.”
Man: “Wow - so much! Isn’t it a
Lawyer: “Yes, what is your third question
Job interview in a psychiatry:
So you’re interested in working
with us. What is your experience with mentally disturbed people?
I’ve been on Facebook for 5 years now.
Very good, the job is yours.
jokes of all times