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The Finest Jokes | Part 9

Best first: For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
 


My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary.

Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup.
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And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!
I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said “Final Notice”. Good that he will not bother me anymore.

Daddy what is a transvestite?
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Ask Mommy, he knows.
Q: Is Google a he or a she?
 
A: A she, no doubt, because it won‘t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.


Today I went to a barber’s shop for a shave. The barber asked me to put a small wooden ball in my mouth so he could get a closer shave around my cheeks.

I asked: “But what if I swallow the ball?”

He replied: “No problem sir, you just bring it back tomorrow like everybody else.”
What is see-through and smells of carrots?
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A rabbit fart.
An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks it’s an exit.

A pessimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and assumes it is an onrushing train.

The train conductor sees two stupid guys staggering on train tracks.
Job interview in a psychiatry:

So you’re interested in working with us. What is your experience with mentally disturbed people?
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I’ve been on Facebook for 5 years now.
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Very good, the job is yours.
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Funniest jokes of all times

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

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