Contact Privacy
 

Best Ever Jokes | Part 10

The best first: "Honey, why did you build the child's bed so high?" - "We can hear it better if he falls out."
 

What sits up a tree and goes "Aaaaaah"? An owl with a speech impediment.

Doctor: Your test results are showing you'll easily live to be 80.
 
Patient: But, wait, I am 80 just now.
 
Doctor: See, I told you to live healthier!
A woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach.
 
“That won’t help you, Joe, you know?”

“Oh it helps a lot,” says the man, “it’s the only way I can see the numbers!”

A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!”
 
Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.“
Today I found my first grey pubic hair. I got really excited, but not as much as the other people in the lift.

Why do you see so few black people on ocean cruises?
-
Well, they're not going to fall for that one again.

Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I’d still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike.

I got my girlfriend a “Get better soon” card.
-
She’s not ill or anything, but she could definitely get better.
One state official to the other: "I don't know what people have against us - We haven't done anything."
Andy has 150 candy bars. He eats 125. What does Andy have now?
-
Andy has diabetes now.
What are you looking at when you see two homeless dudes hitting each other with bits of cardboard?
-
A pillow fight.
Man to a butcher: "I'd like bull's testicles."
-
Butcher: "So would I."

 Don’t be sad when a bird craps on your head. Be happy that dogs can’t fly.

Go to Part One
Funniest jokes of all times

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

See also: New jokes




 
 Do you know a good joke?
Please submit it here:



Security question:
What do you see on the pictrues?






 
UP to the top of the page
 
Press Ctrl + D on your keyboard (Mac: Command + D) to add short-funny.com to your bookmarks.

© Copyright Short-Funny.com