I went to choir practice. My dad told me not to forget a
bucket. I asked why. Dad said, “You’ll need something to carry your tune.”
Have you heard there was a kidnapping at the school?
fine now, the kid woke up again.
“Can you put the cat out, please?”
“Why, is it on fire?”
My dog had an accident and unfortunately lost his nose. How does he smell
now, I hear you ask? Still like a skunk.
What is invisible and smells of carrots?
A little bunny’s fart.
Officer, I’m calling to report my children. They refuse to go to bed.
They are resisting a rest.
Dad to his daughter: "Never forget, sweetie, you're unique, like
How do you call a boat without a rope?
Why is our nose right in the middle of our face?
Well, it is
How are you feeling, dad?
Same as usual, boy, with my skin, mostly.
“Esrowneve” may look like gibberish, but when you put it backwards, it’s
I like to tell dad jokes.
He even laughs from time to time.
I’m not indecisive at all! Am I?
How do you make holy water? Freeze it into ice, then drill in some holes.
Jokes about communism are only good if everybody gets them.
They say whiskey isn’t an answer. But I say it’s worth a shot.
I quit as a taxi driver. Couldn’t stand all the people talking behind my
of Dad Jokes
See also: Bad Jokes