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Funny Dad Jokes | Part 3

The best first: What is red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

What do you call a sheep without legs?

A cloud.
Do you know the story about the chicken that crossed the border? Me neither, I couldn’t follow it.

Did you know that UPS and Fedex are going into a merger? They will be called Fed-Ups now.
Dad: I love my rock-hard, honed six-pack so much I protect it with a good layer of lard."
"Dad you look tired."

"Oh, you mean the dark circles under my eyes? Those are the shadows of my great deeds."
You should always keep your cool when handling justice. Otherwise it would become justwarm.
Not even orcas dare attack an octopus.

It’s too well armed.

I wanted to wear my camouflage jeans today but I just couldn’t find them.
Two tomatoes are walking down the road, when one says, “Be careful there is a truck com...” Splllaaaaasshhh!
Dad - Could you call me a taxi, please?
As you wish, dear taxi.
I was looking for some books on paranoia in the library. When I asked, the librarian said very quietly, “Yes. They are behind you.”
Cliffhanger endings are incredibly frustrating. They just
My wife dared doubt my craftsmanship when I was changing the light switch. Haha, she’s in for a shock.
Working in a crematorium, you can never urn a living.
The hipster from next door drowned. He went ice skating before it was cool.
I don’t know why people have a problem with wigs. It’s a look anybody can pull off!
Why was the toilet paper rolling down the hill?
It was in a rush to get to the bottom.
The waitress asked my dad, seeing he still had some food on his plate when we asked for the bill, “D’you wanna box for it?” My father didn’t fail, “I don’t think it’s worth the fight, really.”
“Oh dad, you gotta save me!”
“And would you like to be a pdf or an xls?”
Next Part
of Dad Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | New Dad Jokes

See also: Bad Jokes

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