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Best Dad Jokes | Part 2

The best first: Which bus went from Spain to America?
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Columbus.

     
Two walls arrange a date – “I’ll meet you at the corner.”

I read the other day that people eat more bananas than monkeys. No surprises there, I can’t even remember the last time I ate a monkey.
My wife dared doubt my craftsmanship when I was changing the light switch. Haha, she’s in for a shock.
Working in a crematorium, you can never urn a living.
What do you do when the phone rings and you get a private caller?
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Don't answer that. Pick up for ranks Lieutenant and higher only.
How much longer is the Amazonas compared to the Nile? [Don't know] By 4 letters.
What is red and flies through the air?
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A tomato in a helicopter.

Dad Joke Helicopter

They are testing a revolutionary new blender, but they’re getting mixed results.
"What is a bunny without a carrot?"
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"Hungry!"

Did you hear about the new movie constipation? It hasn’t come out yet.
Do you know how I embrace my mistakes?
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I hug my wife and children.
Why Davids should never loose their ID?
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Because then you have to call them Davs.
A single glance tells me if somebody is lying. It’s the fact that they’re horizontal that gives it away.
Pregnant women should be given way more respect and comfort in the society. After all, it’s the only way to make a living.
You may be an American when you go to the restroom. You may be an American when you leave the restroom. But when you’re in there? European.
Next Part
of Dad Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | New Dad Jokes

See also: Bad Jokes



 
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