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Chemistry Jokes | Part 3

Best first: So oxygen and potassium went on a date together. It was very much OK.
 What mental disorder plagues the gas chromatograph? Separation anxiety. It got so bad, he just sits, stares and hums „breaking up is hard to do.“

A word of warning about a lethal substance that is still shockingly widely available – the dihydrogen monoxide. It has caused the death of countless people, it is highly addictive and every single attempt to withdraw from using it results inevitably in very grim death,  it forms a greater part of polluted rivers and oceans and there are no attempts made on part of the government to even regulate it, let alone ban it fully. Please write to your local MP on this subject and demand a solution!

Why did the chemist have a problem getting a boyfriend? She had no acetol.

A noble gas walks naked into an office. She gets no reaction.

Is Schrödinger’s cat still alive? Well, to put it shortly, no. The longer answer would be yes.

Landlady: There was a chemist living here before you, Mr. Denny, a very nice man.

Potential tenant: Really? Well I guess those black, green and red stains all over the walls must be from the chemicals in his experiments, right?
Landlady: Partly. The red ones are Mr. Denny.
What is a cation? A very positive kitten.

I blame the Avengers. My female colleague spent quite a while yesterday eyeing up the Thorium.

Are you part of the solution or part of the precipitate?

So when a king farts, does that make it a noble gas?

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Best Chemistry Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

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