Helium walks into a bar fight. Argon hits him with a bar
stool. Helium doesn’t react.
The cool guys drop the base. The adventurous guys drop acid into water.
Rule number one of chemistry: Never trust atoms. The little beasts make up
Rule number two of chemistry: Although chemistry is a lot like cooking, You.
Never. Lick. The. Spoon.
After a fight, proton sighs to his electron spouse: “I really don’t know why
you always have to be so negative.”
It is a little known fact that you can lower your body temperature down to
-273 °C and be perfectly 0K.
An American and a British chemist meet at a conference. “So what do you do?”
asks the British chemist. “I work with arsoles,” replied the American. “Oh I
feel you,” nods solemnly the British one, “my colleagues piss me off too.”
A chemist came in a bar and ordered H2O. His chemist friend said he'd like
H2O too. It was pretty messy. Then he died.
(For the non-chemist -
H2O2 - hydrogen peroxide - is in its pure form not good for human health -
not at all.)
Best Chemistry Jokes
| Part 7