A boss says to a blonde waitress, "Could you please fill up the
An hour later she's still at it, so he asks, "What
happened, why is it taking so long?"
She whips back, "Do you know how
hard it is to get the salt through the little holes?!"
Why aren't there any blonde lift girls? - They had big problems with the
Why do blondes only shoplift in Walmart?
Because there are
always lower prices.
Q: How many blondes do you need to
change a light bulb?
A: Two. One holds the Diet Pepsi, and the
other one calls, "Daaady!"
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde girl a penny for her thoughts?
Why is it more convenient to park with a
blonde in the car?
You can park in a disabled place.
What do you call a blonde who dyed her hair black?
"How come your blond girlfriend never
"Because I told her once that I want a serious relationship
and not just fooling around."
Q: Why did the blonde buy an
elephant instead of a new car?
A: She heard the elephant has a
Q: What do you call a blonde girl standing
between two guys?
A: A mental block.
“I got a nice compliment on my
driving today”, a blonde brags to her friend. “There was a note left on my
windshield and it said “parking fine”.
Why is it difficult
for blonde girls to write the number 11?
They never know which of
the 1s comes first.
Why is it a bad idea to let a blonde
girl skydive when she's on her period?
She always pulls the wrong string.
Q: What do you call a
blonde who has half a brain?
Q: What would you call a clever blonde?
A: A golden retriever.
Little Johnny asks his blonde mum: "Do you believe there is life on the
"Of course, look, they have the lights on."
A blonde in a miniskirt tells her friend, "A guy made me an offer today.
He said he'll give me $30 if I make a handstand. So I did, of course."
Her friend replies, "Come on, he just wanted to see your panties."
The blonde girl replies, "Hey I'm not that stupid. I took them off
of Blonde Jokes
New Blonde Jokes
* A small note on usage: It is NOT OK to use blonde jokes, even
though they're really funny, to make actual living, breathing
people feel crap. It's a game that nobody wins, and even though
people may laugh with you at the time, no-one's ever gotten any
friends worth the word this way.
Everything you send out
will have an influence on you, so better send out something
positive. And while you're at it, enjoy these horribly mean and
ridiculously funny jokes, for academic purposes!