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Horrible Jokes | Part 3

The best first: Guy tries to chat up a girl at a party:

Guy: "So, baby, what would it take for you to let me kiss you?"
Woman: "Knockout Drops."
Our funniest categories:
Bad jokes

Very bad jokes!

Jokes so horrible that you need strength to actually like them :-) Are you strong enough?

Well, Little Johnny, how are your parents?
They died. Mushroom poisoning.
That is terrible! So you live with your uncle, right?
No, he died. Mushroom poisoning.
What?! That’s tragic! What about your grandparents?
They died too. Mushroom poisoning.
Good heavens! What are you doing with yourself then, boy?
I enjoy picking mushrooms.

Two female friends are talking:

“James left me, Sarah.”

“Oh no! Why?!”


“Oh no… But how?! I thought he was on this men’s only journey of self-discovery with no contact with the outside world?”

“Yup. But he came back too early.”

(More Husband / Wife Jokes)

Doctor: “Do you like smoking?”

Patient: “No, why?”

Doctor: “It’s just that they have Black Friday offers for cremation…”
Why did you put your husband’s ashes in a glass urn?

Because he always wanted to know what's going on in the world around him.

Horrible Jokes Constipation
Two youngsters knock on a house door. A middle-aged woman opens. One of the youngsters smiles and says, "Sorry to disturb you ma’am, but we are collecting for the local children's home."
The lady turns her head and yells: Johnny! Pack your things!!!
Doctor: “Thank the Lord, Mr. Brinkleman, for surely through his glory, you are healed. It is a true miracle.”

Man: “So… I don't need to pay you?”
“How old are you again?”

“I’m 12, grandpa.”

“Huh, at your age, I was already 13!”

(Go to Clean Jokes)
“I am a master of fast calculations.”
“OK, what is 758 time 642 divided by 5?”
“Ha ha, that’s wrong!”
“Might be, but it was fast!”
You’ll never believe whom I saw yesterday!

Everybody I laid my eyes on!
What would happen if you threw blue sneakers into the Red Sea?
They would get wet.
A woman starts chatting to a man on a subway: "Hello my name is Margaret."
The man replies: "Mine not."
A man walks in a bar, “Could I have a beer, please?”
Bartender smiles, “Maybe.”
Peter: “Oh, this joke is old.”
Michael: “How could it be old when I just heard it yesterday?”

(See our Kids Jokes)

Grandpa takes a walk with his grandson. As they’re passing through the yard, he stumbles over a plastic bucket that’s just lying there.
The grandson perks up: "Ooh, will we go on holidays now, grandpa?"
Grandpa: "Why are you asking?"
Grandson: "Well, dad said that once you kick the bucket, we can afford to go!'"
 How do you tell a doctor is bad?

He doesn’t have a lot of patience.
My bicycle’s gone.
Did you have a chain on it?
Well, then the chain is gone too.
When do you stop at green and go full speed at red?
When you're enjoying a watermelon!
Bad Jokes Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 

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