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Horrible Jokes | Part 3

The best first: Guy tries to chat up a girl at a party:

Guy: "So, baby, what would it take for you to let me kiss you?"
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Woman: "Knockout Drops."
Our funniest categories:
Bad jokes

Very bad jokes!

Jokes so horrible that you need strength to actually like them :-) Are you strong enough?

Well, Little Johnny, how are your parents?
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They died. Mushroom poisoning.
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That is terrible! So you live with your uncle, right?
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No, he died. Mushroom poisoning.
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What?! That’s tragic! What about your grandparents?
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They died too. Mushroom poisoning.
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Good heavens! What are you doing with yourself then, boy?
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I enjoy picking mushrooms.

Two female friends are talking:

“James left me, Sarah.”

“Oh no! Why?!”

“Cheating.”

“Oh no… But how?! I thought he was on this men’s only journey of self-discovery with no contact with the outside world?”

“Yup. But he came back too early.”

(More Husband / Wife Jokes)

Doctor: “Do you like smoking?”

Patient: “No, why?”

Doctor: “It’s just that they have Black Friday offers for cremation…”
Why did you put your husband’s ashes in a glass urn?

Because he always wanted to know what's going on in the world around him.

Horrible Jokes Constipation
Two youngsters knock on a house door. A middle-aged woman opens. One of the youngsters smiles and says, "Sorry to disturb you ma’am, but we are collecting for the local children's home."
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The lady turns her head and yells: Johnny! Pack your things!!!
Doctor: “Thank the Lord, Mr. Brinkleman, for surely through his glory, you are healed. It is a true miracle.”

Man: “So… I don't need to pay you?”
“How old are you again?”

“I’m 12, grandpa.”

“Huh, at your age, I was already 13!”


(Go to Clean Jokes)
“I am a master of fast calculations.”
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“OK, what is 758 time 642 divided by 5?”
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“22!”
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“Ha ha, that’s wrong!”
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“Might be, but it was fast!”
You’ll never believe whom I saw yesterday!

Everybody I laid my eyes on!
What would happen if you threw blue sneakers into the Red Sea?
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They would get wet.
A woman starts chatting to a man on a subway: "Hello my name is Margaret."
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The man replies: "Mine not."
A man walks in a bar, “Could I have a beer, please?”
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Bartender smiles, “Maybe.”
Peter: “Oh, this joke is old.”
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Michael: “How could it be old when I just heard it yesterday?”

(See our Kids Jokes)

Grandpa takes a walk with his grandson. As they’re passing through the yard, he stumbles over a plastic bucket that’s just lying there.
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The grandson perks up: "Ooh, will we go on holidays now, grandpa?"
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Grandpa: "Why are you asking?"
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Grandson: "Well, dad said that once you kick the bucket, we can afford to go!'"
 How do you tell a doctor is bad?

He doesn’t have a lot of patience.
My bicycle’s gone.
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Did you have a chain on it?
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Yes
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Well, then the chain is gone too.
When do you stop at green and go full speed at red?
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When you're enjoying a watermelon!
Bad Jokes Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 






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