Funniest Short Jokes - Part 2 (Just Hilarious)

I bet you find those jokes hilarious once you read them

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Waiter, there’s a fly twitching in my soup!”
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“And what do you expect for the price? A ballet?!”

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A dung beetle goes into a bar and asks, "Yo, is this stool taken?"

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Why is women’s soccer so rare?
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It’s quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.

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What do politicians and diapers have in common?
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Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.

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A teenager was picking up his girlfriend. Her dad looked at him very sternly and said, "I want her home by midnight, young man!"
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The teenager said, "What do you mean? You already own her home!"

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Two friends are talking:

My doctor told me I must stop playing football.
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What?! Is he sure? Did he examine you properly?
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Not really. But he did see me playing.

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You could view the huge cross on the cover of the Holy Bible as a bigtime spoiler…

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What do you get when you crossbreed a dog and a white shark?
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Trouble with the postman.

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A son asks his mother: “Mom, the kids are laughing at me, they say my teeth are too long!”
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Mother replies: “Oh shush, now you’ve scratched the whole floor again!”

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Can I tell you a good time travel joke?
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[yes]

You didn't like it.32.

Man: “Will you marry me?”
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Woman: “No.”
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2 hours of uncomfortable silence in the hot air balloon.

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 “Daddy, what is an alcoholic?”
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“Do you see those 4 trees, son? An alcoholic would see 8 trees.”
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“Um, Dad – there are only 2 trees.”

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How do you rob a snowman?
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With a hairdryer.

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What is sticky and brown?
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A stick!

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A man goes to the lawyer: “What is your fee?”

Lawyer says: “1000 US dollars for 3 questions.”

Man: “Wow - so much! Isn’t it a bit expensive?”

Lawyer: “Yes, what is your third question?”

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Two blind dudes are fighting really viciously. How do you stop them?
 
You shout, “I’m betting on the dude with the knife!”

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It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

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How do you know the ocean greets you?
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It waves.

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  Next: Part 3 (LOL)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5